| Why R2-D2 is a douche bag. A thesis by Chris Berenotto Throughout the six Star Wars films, the only characters present in all six were Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker, Obi Wan Kenobi, C-3PO, and R2-D2. Now the dramatic irony of watching any of the Star Wars movies now (particularly the original trilogy) is that we now know that Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker created C-3PO, R2-D2 was Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker spaceship navigator/copilot droid, and that Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker was Luke and Leia Skywalker’s father. As I said before, there were four characters that bore witness to all these events. So why didn’t these four characters let the other Star Wars characters know this information? Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker told Luke that he was his father as soon as he realized it, so that’s settled. As for his relationship with R2-D2 and C-3PO, he most likely didn’t remember the two droids he flew with and built (respectively) sixteen, seventeen years ago when he was a good guy. The second in-command of the entire empire is not going to remember this kind of thing after seventeen years of busy work, and even if he did it’s not like he really sat down and had a conversation with the droids. The only attention he paid to them is in Episode IV and he probably didn’t realize who they were. There are two possible reasons Obi Wan Kenobi didn’t spill the beans. One is he also didn’t remember the two droids. However, given the amount of time he spent with them in Episode IV, the most likely reason is because he didn’t want to let Luke know about his father’s past until the right moment. After Luke knew about his lineage he still didn’t tell Luke about his father’s relationship with the droids because who really cares at that point? He’s not gonna waste his and Luke’s time telling him about fun little facts that belong in Trivia Pursuit. C-3PO got his memory banks wiped out at the end of Episode III. He’s off the hook. R2-D2 however, did not get his memory banks erased. And here’s what makes him such a little prick: after all the time he spent with Luke, Leia, and especially C-3PO over the years, you’d think he mention some of this shit in casual conversation. Like, “Beep Beep Boop Boop!” “Hey, there’s the guy (Darth Vader/Anakin Skywalker) that I worked extremely closely with for years!” or “Hey C-3PO, did you know that Darth Vader built you?” or “Hey Luke, Leia, Darth Vader’s your freakin’ dad!” No. That shitty little robot didn’t say any of that. He had plenty of opportunities to, but he didn’t. And that my friends, is what makes R2-D2 a douche. |
